I Took My Daughters to See an R-Rated Movie
By now you’ve probably figured out that we raise our girls with a very conservative parenting style as we try to instill the best values and characteristics in the people we will someday release into the wild. We support and encourage them if they want to join extra curricular activities like sports or music. However we expect them, without argument, to practice as recommended by the coach or instructor and require them to stick out the entire season even if they decide they hate it. Being part of any type of team, whether as a kid or an adult, means other people are counting on you. Bailing midway through because you don’t like it, get bored or something better comes along should never be an option. It’s one of many important life lessons we stress for our girls. They aren’t allowed to date until they’re 16 and even then we may change the rule. Our house, our rules. So how is it that I took my 15 and 13 year old daughters to see an R-Rated movie? Because I wanted to, that’s why. There are some things that are bound to happen and I feel more confident knowing we’re part of the decision making process. Let’s face it, kids hear and see more online and from their friends than any of us care to admit. And since this had something to do with Deadpool, it seemed only natural to break the rules.
We’re not shy about proclaiming that we have a houseful of Marvel fanatics. With the release of Deadpool 2, it was typical that edited-for-TV versions of the movie would be airing on DirecTV. Scott and I decided to let the girls watch it. After all, it was edited. How bad could it be? The language had been cleaned up (some) and the innuendo, well, it wasn’t anything that a teenager hadn’t already heard.
Have you seen the trailers for Deadpool 2? We saw them and counted down the days to see it in theaters because every Marvel movie is best on a big screen. Scott and I decided to go see it Deadpool 2 by ourselves since we weren’t sure whether the unedited version would still be okay for our teenage daughters.
We weren’t even a couple minutes into the movie when Scott leaned over to me and said, “Madison would love this.” We walked out commenting on how hilarious it was and that the girls are old enough to appreciate the humor… language and all.
There’s a lot more going on than just the story if you watch for the multiple pop culture references throughout the movie. There’s the boombox scene from Say Anything, multiple comments about the DC Universe, jabs at the writers about cheaping out and not including more X-Men and so much more. There’s an undertone of real world vs movie world such as when Deadpool is talking to the viewers about the scenes or referencing Ryan Reynolds in the 3rd person.
Then there’s Thanos… having already seen the Infinity War movie and played Thanos Rising board game, naturally we wanted to see a different side of the very talented actor, Josh Brolin. Of course, it’s even better since he’s actually referenced as Thanos at least once in the movie. I didn’t catch whether they referenced Goonies or any of his other films, but I’m guessing they probably did.
We aren’t even going to discuss the multitude of cameos, both prominent (Terry Crews) as well as blink-and-you-missed-them (Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Alan Tudyk). Seriously, it’s loaded.
So we bought tickets and went to see it again, this time with our daughters in tow. Would I bring a 10 year old to see Deadpool or Deadpool 2? Not a chance! (There were kids as young as about 5 in the theater when we first saw it, but it’s not my place to judge those parents.) What did the girls think of Deadpool 2? They loved it. They know the language isn’t something that should be repeated. Best of all, they appreciate that movies are a form of entertainment and bonding for our family. As long as Scott and I can continue to create conversations with our kids about things like movies and games, then when the really important stuff comes up, we’ll already have the doors of communication open.
Would you take your teenager to see an R-rated movie?
22 thoughts on “I Took My Daughters to See an R-Rated Movie”
What an asshole parent you are
That sounds like a quote from the movie, Jim!
I thought the original Deadpool was way worse in regard to language, violence & innuendo than Deadpool2 . I see no problem in bringing a 13 and 16 year old to see Deadpool2. It was very funny!
I agree. We saw it first without the kids and hadn’t planned on taking them. But after watching it, we realized it wasn’t as bad (raunchy) as we had expected it would be.
Yes, I would. And for the exact reasons you stated. Is the same reason we don’t make our friends who swear not do so around our kids. There are grown up words, and rude words, and yet they’re all just words. Our role is you can’t use swears until you’re old enough to understand them and use them correctly, and most importantly know whether or not you should use them at all, and judge context and audience (I realize we may be more lenient here than you, and that’s okay). Our main rule, whether the word is f*** or twerp, is that we don’t use words to hurt people, EVER. Sho for movies, it’s about theme, plot, how words and concepts are used and presented, and the child in question.
Also, way to be transparent. I love it!
Thanks for your lovely response, Alena. You’re approach to learn about words is excellent and I applaud that. We surround our girls with a variety of safe environments and have taught them to speak up when they are uncomfortable. We would attend game nights and they would hear someone swear and simply look at them and say in a somewhat serious, somewhat joking manner, “Language.” Adults are much more receptive to a child calling them out on their language than the child’s parent. 🙂
That’s a good approach. We tell ours that if some does or says something that makes them uncomfortable, it’s okay to say something, or to tell us about it if they need help. So far (she’s 6, and he’s only 1) it hasn’t really been an issue. She just observes everyone. But she does comment if someone calls names. When she was 4 she put her hands on her hips, leaned in, and firmly told an uncle, “don’t call my daddy a yittle bizz, it’s not nice to call names, and if you make my daddy cry I’ma have to tell your mommy!” (They were laughing a game, and the uncle in question was completely joking, and no one was upset about it except the poor 4 year old. He apologized to her, and my husband at her indignant promoting, and has been more cautious in her presence since.)
That is FANTASTIC! The innocence of a child’s viewpoint can be very telling of the way things really are. He was joking, but not everyone saw it that way and that’s cool that she said something. 🙂
I do agree with taking a child that age if it is done in the thoughtful way that your family did it. You saw the movie first and considered what it would mean for your children and saw it with them. I also think it makes a big difference that they are 13 and 15 and there can be open communication about the movie.
I like the fact that you saw it first and knew what was coming. I also think that its good to use movies (other forms of media entertainment as well) as ways to create conversations with your kids instead of just passively watching. I think this builds critical thinking skills and analytical skills that will serve them well in the future. An interesting article.
I my kids were at home, I brought them to R rated movies. I did check out a few times why they were rated R. Some were for violence, cursing, some nudity, etc. Also my kids were pretty grown up and knew the score. They weren’t immature in that respect. As far as the swearing, they have heard worse at school! There is more violence on TV. Before I take my grandkids, I ask their moms. Especially girls can’t be sugar coated about certain things! Thank you for sharing!
First off “the people we will someday release into the wild” line cracked me up…right you are it is wild. I totally agree you did the right thing and for a lot of reasons. First, it was a thoughtful decision. Secondly, it was removing the ‘taboo’ aspect. And thirdly it allows you to address anything that comes up. There is something to be said for all three of those reasons, but I’ll just comment on the second one. I’ve seen what happens when you tell a child that they can’t do something…it can become an unhealthy obsession or a constant conflict. I knew a girl who told us what a tight leash her parents kept her on growing up…no discussions, information or exposure to the ‘real’ world, only academics allowed. During her first semester in college, at the dorm, the first time away from her parents, she partied, drank, did drugs, had unprotected sex, became pregnant.and flunked out of school. Why? Because it was the first time she was able to explore what she had been so sheltered from…so she went crazy and tried everything. Her parents did her a real disservice in not guiding her into ‘the wild’ as you so perfectly put it.
It would depend on my kid (currently, they don’t exist yet) and the movie – there’s a huge difference between, say, Gladiator and American Pie, for example…..
Well things have certainly gotten worse in movies, where violence, language, and nudity have increased since I last commented on August 13, 2018. It’s ashame! Pretty soon, the critics & movie industry won’t have to rate them!!